Penguins anyone?

Yesterday, the voice Junior hears in his head spoke to me and brainwashed me into believing that Everything Matters! was my favorite book we've read this year. This is how our conversation went.


Hello Katie. "Although to you we may seem quite knowledgable…we in fact know only one thing for certain, which is this:" your new favorite book from AP English 12 must be Everything Matters!, or else we will come find you, and destroy you. There, now that wasn't so hard was it? You may be wondering why this is now supposed to become your favorite book, and we have that answer for you. It is not because how great it is that it's insanely depressing, revolves around various types of mental illness, substance abuse and corrupt government projects, but for other reasons. Reasons being: You thought it was funny. Rodney yelling at his shrink? Funny. Junior being sarcastic? Funny. Us telling Junior our snide comments? Yes, we are very funny. Now, Katie before we show you more of why you love this book, walk to the tv please. Now, "the buttons. Make them snap. Control the image. The power is yours" (30)

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What? of course you pushing the buttons has to do with why you like this book. Just do it.

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Stop being difficult! We and Ms. Serensky are both "simultaneously disapointed".

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Why yes of course I am the voice…
I mean no, wait! Ah! Crap. Alright, I, Ms. Serensky am the voice Junior hears in his head. Do not ask me why I have been refering to myself as "we". "I do what I do to help you people" (Ms. S)

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Ok fine, I'll tell you specifics as to why you liked this book.

1. Pretty cover. You liked the stupid painthbrushy stroke things
2. You liked it because since it was published by Penguin books, there were little penguins hidden throughout the first few pages, like Currie wanted you to play I Spy with him
3. Silly numbers. You were intrigued by why they started with 97. But thats wierd. You're wierd.
4. Not many other people liked this book that much, so you liked it more. But you didn't understand why no one else really liked it. "But this becomes easier to understand when you consider, that you're eight times as smart, exponentially, as the smartest among [your classmates], and moreover, that they are keenly aware of this fact" (59).
5. I lied. You're not that smart. You just liked it because of the cover and penguins. Dumb.
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Fine Katie! Leave! Go play with your stupid penguins!

A whole website devoted to dancing penguins!

www.angelfire.com/pe/penguindance/